Sawyer was a premature baby, arriving at only 24 weeks (he was due at the beginning of September and arrived in the middle of May). On Tuesday, the doctors called the family in because he was no longer responding to treatment and was requiring far too much oxygen and pressure from the ventilator to sustain respiratory function. They had no more answers or options, and at that moment we crossed the threshold of impossibility. Although I was not called by the hospital, I felt strongly that I needed to go be there with my cousins and sat for five hours quietly expecting a miracle for this baby who the doctors couldn’t help. Before I left the hospital that night, I felt led to write a declaration of life over Sawyer, from his perspective.
For three days Sawyer’s condition has been minute-to-minute with doctors unable to give any treatment–or any explanation for why he is still alive at all. With a child who is having respiratory problems, the goal is to keep the blood-oxygen saturation levels at high numbers (90s)–Sawyer was having a hard time maintaining in the low 80s. Included in the declaration I had written was the statement that his blood oxygen level would remain at 94 and above and his need for added oxygen (which had been between 95-100%) would decrease, as would the pressure needed from the ventilator. My cousin told me that they read his letter over and over on Tuesday night, and again on Wednesday. This morning I had a voicemail on my phone to let me know that Sawyer’s blood oxygen level is maintaining at 94 and his added oxygen is down to 39%! GOD IS SO GOOD!